“I wasn’t exactly your coolest girl, but I was an average 10th grader,” Ella Dorner explained. While in her sophomore year at Stillwater Area High School, Dorner lost all her memories of her life.

Dorner fell down the stairs while getting ready to attend a football game with her sister. After being rushed to the hospital, the seizure she suffered and the bleeding in her brain led to her retrograde amnesia, in which she lost all of her memories of her first sixteen years. She had to relearn everything she knew about her life, her family, and even just a daily routine. She now travels as a motivational speaker, and her book, Born at Sixteen, is currently in production.

The Accident

She and her sister were hanging out and singing 90s music while getting ready to go to the football game when Dorner had her accident.

“My sister heard a thump. That was me… When she found me, I was bawling, but I wasn’t making any noise,” Dorner explained.

After her grand mal seizure, the worst one someone could have, and consequent amnesia, she woke up in the hospital, not understanding what was happening to her or even who she was.

“I was in this body that I didn’t understand. It was like waking up in a dog’s body…I was getting sent into this giant tube, it looked like a lifesaver, and I thought, this was it, this was where I was going to die,” she added. “The first memory I had, of them killing me, was actually an MRI.”

Beginning Recovery

Dorner was unfamiliar with basic household items, much less with academic concepts and their applications. She didn’t understand why water came out of walls, and why her dog wouldn’t reply to her.

“I sat down with Tyler every day and tried to teach him how to talk. My mom came home one day, and found me crying because he didn’t know how to talk,” Dorner said. “The first month was just learning how to be alive. The second was learning that I had lost all my memories.”

Her mother set up a tent in her room to try and ease some of the shock that came with not knowing anything about her own life.

“I had trouble separating between a dream and reality, so when I saw the 9/11 attack, I broke down… Being able to be in there was good for me, ’cause I was able to remember the space I was in,” Dorner commented.

Dorner cites her parents, Jules and Jeff Dorner, and her sister, Hannah, as hugely influential and supportive in her recovery. As well, her friends and her boyfriend at the time were very supportive and helpful to her, answering questions and generally being there, even with her having no memory of them.

“I think, after a while, I could kinda tell [that we were friends]… Good friends care about you and love you, having that emotional connection was really big,” she explained, “I had a boyfriend at the time, and he would send me pictures of a giraffe, and be like ‘This is a giraffe,’…He said ‘you would text me and be like, have you ever had a taco, and I would say yes, and you would reply, they are so good.’ ”

Returning to School

School was an entirely different ball game. It wasn’t until the sixth month of recovery that she returned to SAHS, and found herself suffering from anxiety. She was unable to keep up with many of her classes, as she didn’t remember the topics from before her accident, and took many of her credits online.

“I completely forgot how to do math, I learned how to add in 10th grade. Mr K [Matt Kiedrowski], he taught me how to add,” Dorner recalls, “Coming back to school was terrifying for me…The teachers, as wonderful as they all are, they didn’t really get it. My anxiety at school was really bad.”

After graduating from SAHS, she went on to UND and found it to be even more challenging and terrifying. She likens it to taking an ethics class in German, where, on top of the concepts, one has to learn a whole new language to even be able to take the class.

“I went to college and I didn’t really talk about my injury. In high school, I was the girl who lost her memory, and I kinda did the ‘New year, new me,’ thing,” Dorner explained.

Motivational Speaking

After having met her mentor, Mark Lindquist, Dorner was inspired to become a motivational speaker. She shares her story with students, and churches, among others, to encourage them to embrace living.

“I think it’s incredible that we as human beings can do whatever you want to do. You can do absolutely anything you want to and that’s amazing to me,’ Dorner added. “I think it’s just really rewarding to share, ‘Hey, your entire life can crash in front of you, but you’ll be fine.’ ”

She loves to look at everything that we take for granted that we do, and realize all the weird, wonderful things that humans do.

“People are insane, so I think its fun to go through the daily routine and look at the crazy stuff we do,” Dorner said.

Even today, Dorner sometimes has trouble remembering certain words, and has revelations often about things she’s been missing.

“Its like building blocks… It’s a coral reef, you know? But I’ve been saying coral wreath for seven years, and no one corrected me. I know people have heard me say that, and no one said anything, so that was a huge breakthrough for me,” Dorner explained of a revelation that happened over the past weekend.

Dorner is always working to relearn everything that happened to her, and she feels her experiences have only made her stronger.

“I got out of it, and in the long run, that’s all I care about.” Dorner said.