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Mira LaNasa

Ing-Mari and Dennis Ryan work together on plans for the next year. “This year is the first year we’ve taught the same grade, so I enjoy finding out exactly what types of instructional techniques that he’s used, and talking about that in our English department. His teaching style is so based on his personality, and connecting with kids, and you can’t replicate that, but it’s fun talking about some of the things,” Ing-Mari adds.

Dennis and Ing-Mari Ryan both teach English classes at Stillwater Junior High School. The two have been married for 21 years, and met through the school.

“He started here the year we opened this building in 1994, and he was a new teacher, and I was working with our new teacher mentorship program, and so we just went to a lot of meetings together, with a lot of new people. When we opened this building we had to hire so many new people, so there were a ton of new teachers every year. Then we went to visit a school in Michigan…and he went on that trip, so we got to know each other a little bit then,” Ing-Mari explained.

They both teach ninth grade English, only three rooms away from one another. They drive to and from school together every morning and afternoon and have three kids of their own, all college students.

Getting to know each other

Ing-Mari and Dennis were engaged fairly soon after beginning dating, then married shortly after.

“By spring we were dating, but we didn’t really tell anyone. The secretary in the office I think knew. A couple of my friends knew. But we got engaged in late spring because we just figured it out pretty fast,” Ing-Mari said. “We met in September and were engaged by April. But I was 29 by then. By the time you’re that old you kind of have it figured out. You’ve dated enough, you figure it out.”

Dennis proposed to Ing-Mari in April, but he openly asked one of his eighth grade classes if they would grant him the favor.

“My eighth grade class proposed to her. I said ‘How many of you had Ms. Gahr last year?’ and they said ‘Oh we love her, she’s awesome.’ I said, ‘Yeah, I think I’m going to marry her,’ and they were like ‘Oh shut up,’ and I pulled out the ring. I said ‘Why don’t you guys go do it for me, so they practiced in uniform and went sprinting down the hall,” Dennis explained.

Over 20 years of happiness and romance

Since the Ryans have been married for such a long time, some of Dennis’ smaller, more personal gestures have not gone unnoticed by Ing-Mari, like their talks on the drive home from school, or his willingness to cook constantly during their summer vacations at her mother’s cabin.

“Do you know the story about how he proposed? I’d say that’s pretty romantic,” she explained. “I would say he’s probably more romantic, because he can’t ever wait to give a present. If he goes to get a birthday or anniversary present a few days before, I always get it the day he bought it. He can never wait. He really likes to cook, and I enjoy it, but he much rather. After you’ve been married for this long, those kinds of things are the romantic parts. It’s not the storybook romantic stuff, but it’s the ‘I’ve been married 21 years’ kind of stuff.”

Both Ing-Mari and Dennis will be moving up to the high school with the transition, so they have been spending much more time together in school.

“This year is the first year we’ve taught the same grade, so I enjoy finding out exactly what types of instructional techniques that he’s used, and talking about that in our English department. His teaching style is so based on his personality, and connecting with kids, and you can’t replicate that, but it’s fun talking about some of the things,” Ing-Mari added.

Dennis is glad for the years he has had at SJHS, but is looking forward to the challenges they will have to face in the next few years, like acclimating to the new staff, students, and environment.

“I still enjoy doing it [teaching]. If you’re going to leave teaching, you usually do it within the first five years,” Dennis expressed. “These last two years I’ve had really nice kids. I wish they’d work a little harder sometimes, but they’re nice kids.”

Family matters

One of their children was born with a severe health issue, so Ing-Mari had let go of teaching to care for their daughter.

“I left in 2000 when our daughter was born with some medical issues, and we had been married for five years. I was gone for seven years, because she had a heart transplant. We had three kids, and so I stayed home for seven years. I didn’t think I would come back here again, but the principal at the time was like, ‘I need someone to teach one, maybe two classes, please come back,’ and I was ready, and it worked out that she was doing so well,” Ing-Mari said.

While all of their children are still exploring their futures in college, they try to keep family traditions going.

“As our kids have gotten older it’s really hard to keep them [traditions] going, but when we sit down for dinner we always say what we’re thankful for. We really make a point of having dinner together,” Ing-Mari said.

While they find their marriage to be quite standard, meeting each others’ families was one of the easiest parts. Ing-Mari would hardly change a thing.

“They [my parents] liked him right away. My dad especially. Unfortunately he passed away. My dad was a really good woodworker, and he [Dennis] helped my dad fix up some stuff in our house, and when my dad was getting really sick he helped at my parent’s house. He [my dad] kept trying to teach him things, and Dennis isn’t very handy, so I wish he was still around for that sort of stuff, but my mom loves [Dennis],” Ing-Mari explained.

Ing-Mari believes that while their relationship was fast and unexpected, it worked out to be a perfect fit.

“He had worked at a daycare when he was in graduate school, and he loved talking about that, and I thought that was neat. I enjoyed hanging out with him and his friends, and vise versa,” Ing-Mari explained. “Because I was older, I wanted to make sure everybody got along, and our college friends each enjoyed each other, so that was good. And I thought he was really smart. I didn’t think I would marry a teacher, but we have a lot of common values.”