Gallery • 4 Photos

Jordan Fulin

Both Tom Styrbicki (left) and Mark Johnson (right) are on a mission for some groceries. Little did either of them know that they share a love for Stillwater and the people in it. Johnson says, "We just love it here. I moved out here because of family but this place is so beautiful."

All around us are strangers. A fleeting face passing by us, we look for no more than a second and then it is gone. The face forgotten and our lives continuing on our own winding path without thinking twice about that unfamiliar person who happened to be one step ahead in line, or sitting across the room. The world would look a lot different if everyone took five minutes out of their lives to meet someone new and talk with them. Those unfamiliar faces would become people, with lives as intricate and complicated as our own. They could be someone who impacts your life in ways never thought possible.

Jill Kaufenberg and Laura Richert

Tin Bins Cafe is a small coffee shop in historic downtown Stillwater. The friendly air is inviting and warm with a beautiful view of the river. Scattered throughout the dining area, customers sit and enjoy a nice fresh brewed coffee or a savory bite to eat. One woman in particular, named Jill Kaufenberg, sat closed off at her own table. She had headphones in and was working furiously on a laptop. When approached, she seemed startled at first but as she learned that she would be having a quick conversation with another stranger in the shop, a bright smile came across her face. Another woman by the name of Laura Richert agreed to sit down with Kaufenberg.

Sitting down together, they seemed slightly awkward at first. Gradually they became more comfortable and asked many questions regarding livelihoods and family. As their conversation progressed, they came to the topic of the proposed school closures in the district. Both women had children that already were, or will be attending Withrow Elementary School. They both shared the opinion that the schools should remain open.

Kaufenberg asked Richert,”Are you going to go to the meeting? The one on the 5th? [regarding the proposed school closures].”

Richert replied, “Yes we are pretty involved with the meetings, I’ve spoken at a few; so we are super sad about the school.”

The two women  carried on a lengthy conversation about the school and even exchanged emails so that they could keep in touch about the proposal.

Humans have a tendency to stay on the same path and often feel uncomfortable when they stray from their path and try new things. When put in an uncomfortable situation, humans tend to guard themselves and try to avoid the situation as much as possible, no matter how beneficial the outcome may be.

Isaac and Barbara Olmstead

In Cub Foods a tall, adolescent named Isaac was following his mom around. He seemed as though he had little interest in what type of yogurt his mom was picking out.  Shy at first, he was reluctant to speak with Barbara Olmstead, whom he had never seen or met before. Olmsted was nearly triple his age. After conversing for five minutes, another passerby could easily mistake Olmsted and Isaac as grandmother and grandson.

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Olmsted asked Isaac, “So are you a junior or senior?”

Isaac answered, “I’m actually a junior in high school. I go to New Heights.”

Olmsted enthusiastically answered, “Well good for you! My granddaughter is a junior in high school!”

Both Isaac and Olmsted shared this one connection, though small, that he himself was a junior and her granddaughter was a junior as well. In an unlikely place with unlikely people, they were able to form a bond, for just that moment, and talk as though he was her grandson as well. They both opened up to each other, Isaac began as a teen who had little interest. As the conversation progressed, he began to joke, laugh and exhibit a more friendly attitude. 

Humans always begin closed off and as they open up to the world around them they become more vulnerable. This is not a disadvantage though, they are more willing to convey their emotions and genuinely be friendlier people. There needs to be a sort of “ice breaker” for two people to open up. It could be as simple as, “Hey! I like that t-shirt”. For Olmsted and Isaac, this experiment they participated in was their “ice breaker” that allowed them to open up to each other and be vulnerable. For humans it only takes a few minutes to let yourself become vulnerable with another.

Tom Styrbicki and Mark Johnson

Also in Cub Foods, a taller middle aged man, who looked as though he were on a mission, named Tom Styrbicki. He agreed to speak with another man named Mark Johnson, also doing some weekend shopping. It turns out, they both had recently moved to the Stillwater area. Both shared a love for the area and spoke about the new bridge construction.

Johnson asked Styrbicki his thoughts on the new bridge being built.

“Awesome. I’m a bridge engineer. Whether people like it or not it [the bridge] is going  in”, said Styrbicki.

“I have no problem with the bridge, I am just wondering about what will happen to the old bridge”, said Johnson.

The two talked about the bridge and shared their thoughts. They made jokes about the bridge and even made a few jokes aimed at each other. All aimed in good humor, they laughed as though they had known each other for years. Another customer in the store could have mistaken the two for brothers. One thing with human interaction is the ever prevalent fear of rejection. Everyone is afraid of being told “no” or not fitting in.  One observation, consistent with all the trials, was that they started off more shy and awkward but the conversation blossomed and people were able to make some real connections with people they never would have thought about approaching.

Our lives have a tendency to focus on what is ahead of us rather than what surrounds us. Stop for a minute and look at everyone around you and remember that they live their own lives, equally as complicated as our own. The next time you have five minutes to spare, talk to the woman ahead of you in line or say hello to a passerby. That person has the potential to change your life and the possibilities are endless.